By Alvin Low.

- I wonder -

- have you wonder -
whats life
or its treating you badly
till some people say; lifes a bitch
or; everyday is karma, you wont know what you ll get
while everyday is like a gift from someone,
not knowing whats inside
everyday is a surprise
ups and downs
come and go
wishing we could change back time
have you ever done something wrong,
just one freaking mistake
and their trust for you is gone?
how to gain that back?
i dont know either
how to, when the doors are close
some open while some ignore
yet again, its life

when you seem down and for no reason
you keep thinking for no reason
you walk around for no reason
it seems like the world is against you for no reason
and everything with no reason
what do you do?
face it or wait till someone saves you?
how bout waiting? and see what you can do.
it ll work -

recently i was kinda down
a trip to somewhere seems like a cure
a trip by car
a trip by walkin
or anything
i decided on a boat
to no where
to think and ponder alone
all the mistakes you did
and all teh smiles you made and had
which beats what
friends family all come in mind
i wished i could say sorry
i wished i never did that
i wished
and now, this is something,
give me a chance
im sorry
trust me will you?
forgive me if im wrong
but it never came across my mind to do wrong
im hoping to put a smile on that face
asking again forgiveness for my past
i do care and i try
- hmm... what can i do now -
- this post is crap -
- so no use reading -
- lols... cheers all!! -

Till then.

Happy Birthday !

It was Wynesse's birthday today. She asked us to go to Euphoria AKA MOS for her birthday celebration. It was great. All of us went expect some. I wanted my sister to go but nah. She better not go right? So these are all the pictures..


The birthday girl, and some guy and Khairul's sister.


Wynesse and Apek.


Wynesse and Colin.


Wynesse and Khairul's sister.


Khairul and Wynesse.


Khairul, Wynesse and U-Mae.


Wynesse Ang.


Wynesse, Khairul's sister and U-Mae.


Wynesse and U-Mae.


Wynesse and her Mom.


Khairul's sister, Unknown guy and Wynesse.


Khairul, Taufik, Roy, Wynesse and U-Mae.


U-Mae and Colin.


Colin.


Roy.


U-Mae.


....


Roy.

Anyway, I had alot of fun that night. Thank you Khairul. Thank you Wynesse. Thank you Apek and everyone for making my night. Thanks and thanks for everything. I hope that you all enjoyed the birthday too. Lastly, Happy Birthday Wynesse Ang.

Release stress.

Went out at 2 pm. And then went to esso at 6pm. Talked shit with Jey Sern. Then went over to Snooker Centre at 7pm till 9pm. Went over to Jey Sern's house for a bathe. Then we headed out. Meet up with the rest and went in. And then we went in. Had a few drinks and saw Eng Seong there too. Well said hi and all. Then the Boon Loi and his group came joined us. We knew so many of the people. The indians and chinese from other tables gave one bottle of Livas with half bottle to us and one more bottle of different thing to us. Well. Jey Sern and William ordered Graveyard. Guess what. Something happened. I am not gonna say it out. Hehe. Till then.

Finals Day 5.

Okay I came back late again. Around 2 am yesterday. So I slept late again. So I woke up dizzy again. Today we ad our Add Maths 2 and EST 1. Guess what. Add Maths just finish in 2 days. I am so happy but yet so worried about failling. Okay lar. I dont have B OR C. Just pass can already lar. Please please. The paper was very HARD alright. Paper 2 was like so little questions. Yet filled with hardness. Then after recess we had EST paper 1. Which had a filling of empty spaces and another filling but need to change the words. Cant use the same words from the text and one report to do. About 3 countries. And we had to pick one and compare it in an report like that. Not bad lar. I did a draft then rewrite it. That made me didnt have enough time to do my second part. So I didnt do quite alot of questions. Nevermind. I will score in paper 2. At least 90%. Hehe. So something happened during EST paper 1. Not bad lar. She just let us go like that. What to do. Hainanese with hainanese. Easy what. Hehe. Till then.

Finals Day 4.

Today got up from bed was quite hard. When I dont have enough sleep. I usually have quite a bad mood in school but well. Today is exams so yeah. Had our Pendidikan moral and Add Maths today. It was quite okay. Not that bad. Pendidikan Moral was with all those tell me why they must use this nilai for this people. And what is the nilai for this people. All same only. But what to do. I didnt study Moral. So I dunno how to do the question. So I told my friend do it fast and then pass your test paper here. So he did. So I wrote down some only. I only did Moral paper for half an hour and the other 2 hours was sleeping. Didnt have enough sleep lar. So just sleep only lar. Then go recess came back then I had my Add Maths paper 1. Okay that paper was very HARD lar. I open the first page only. I straight close and go to sleep for 2 hours again. The last half an hour only I started to ask papers from my friends to give me some answers. You know how hard anot? Just paper 1 only not even paper 2 yet. Paper 2 will be full with calculation and stuffs. I am worry about Add Maths now. I never even pass Add Maths once in all my form 4 year. Next year I must improve my Add Maths. Even how hard it is. I dont wanna drop it. But if I am forced to I have to lar. Of course right? Till then.

Max Payne.

At night. On Wednesday. I went out with Tee liang and Wei ter for a movie at aeon. We first went to Giant first. To get their stuffs and all. Then we went over to aeon and bought Max Payne's tickets. It was at 11.20pm. And we were at there around 10.20pm. So we had 1 hour to waste. So.. we walked around. Saw Yilin there and few of my friends there. Then walk again. Walk walk walk then crap crap crap till 11.10pm. Then only went into the cinema. It was quite okay okay only lar. The story line was quite normal. Tee liang and me was thinking that the movie is gonna be about Max Payne's devil fightting againts other devils. He gonna shoot the devil lar this lar that lar. But it didnt turn out that way. And Max Payne is now the strongest so he got the Angel soilders. Not bad ah. And he didnt die in the end I guess? So the story continues. He is so lucky right. Cant even die even how many shoots was shot at him. Still standing. Powderfulllll !!!! Hehehehehe. After that went to esso mamak. Eat a while then reached home about 2am.

Finals Day 3.

Today we had our Sejarah 2 and Physics 2. Sejarah 2 was first. I finished all the subjective questions but I did not do the essay properly. So I guess I will just get enough marks just not to fail ? It is all depending on Sejarah 1 now. Lets hope hope hope that I can do my Paper 1. Hehehehe. Then after recess we had our Physics 2. Once we open the paper. First paper we see straight away we put our paper one side and sleep a while. Cant get any answers until around 30 minutes left. My friends finally got answers from my other classmates so he passed it to me. Luckily lar. I did some of the questions. If not I think I confirm fail already. Still got Physics 1 and 3. So if I manage to do that 2 more papers well. Then I am alright already I guess. Till then.

Finals Day 2.

Today we had our Biology 2 and English 1. Biology 2 was the first paper. Open the question paper. It was HARDDDDD. But well, look to the left and the right and you got your answers. The essay part I didnt even do at all. So empty. Maybe just one question that is number 9 A. Har har. Only can get 2 or 3 marks. But the subjective part I did everything. So lets hope all the answers are right and it will go smoothly and get a B or not fail. Still got Biology 1 and 3 I think. Hehe. After recess we had our English 1. Quite simple. Just two essay. One essay was about the importance of newspapers in our life. So I wrote about outlook on someone, blah blah, etc etc. And then the second one was your choice. There were 5 questions. One of them were smoking. So I chose smoking. Write write write bad effects of smoking. Etc etc. Done. In like 1 hour plus. So after that did abit of noise. Teacher stare stare at me. Then I smile back at him. Then he smile back. Then I look away. Look at him. He is still looking at me. So I smile again. Then he smile again. Then he came at the back of me. Then I stood up straight. Then he pulled my hair. Then I smiled at him. Then he walked away. Har har. The end. Till then.

A Second Chance.

Everybody deserves a second chance or even a third chance from someone who they did wrong to. Not to say third but a second chance is already hard to get. From my experience. I see that even how much we say sorry or find forgiveness from the specific person. Still we wont get a second chance. No matter how hard we try to get it from them. It never comes to us. Once you get a chance. Use it well. And do it well. Never waste a chance given to you that easily. Because a chance given to you is a rare thing to get. So I always put this in my mind. If I ever get a second chance from my friends. I will learn from my mistakes that I did to them in the past and never repeat it again in the future when I am with them again. Never and never. Because once you do it again. You might even regret that you did it and wasted the chance given to you. My two friends. Fought a long time ago. Till now they are not even talking to each other. I think that my friends should give each other a peace of a talk and forgive each other and try out see if they can still be good friends anot? But nope. They refused and now they are not even hanging out with each other. Not just them but it affects the people around them dont you think? By becoming two sides. It makes the other people all have to choose a side to stand and the other side will refuse to mix with the other side. Its kind of sad you know being like this. Seperated and not together. But well. I dont care because I am leaving anyway. To my point of view. If anybody would say sorry to me I would give them a second chance because I know that everybody can change. Its never too late to change or its never too late to apologize. But I realise that sometimes it is just too late to apologize to somebody? Or even how much you tried to do things just to get forgiveness or change yourself to be a better person just to be worthy for that person still you doesnt get a second chance. We cant say that its unfair. Its our fault for doing the mistake. If we didnt do the mistake. Nothing will happen right? Like I said before everything you do has its good and bad out of it. So whatever you are having. Treasure it with all your mights and try not to let go so easily. Because someone that is very special to you is very find to be found. Like my friend now. His having his nice time with his girlfriend. I hope that they will last long and I hope that I know what he is doing and treasure his girl for a long long time. A second chance. I wish I had one. But I could not got one. So I always try to do things without making any mistakes if I could but its impossible. Because I didnt live long enough to experience all the things. I am still young and learning from the world. So I just have to be patience and just try to avoid doing mistakes while that learn about the world more. Till then.

Finals Day 1.

My PMR holidays just ended and my finals exam for form 4 just started today. Today we had Bahasa Melayu 2 and Chemistry 2. Bahasa Melayu was quite simple. It was 2hours and 15mins long. I thought we had novel but actually novel was in paper 1. Today was paper 2. So first question was. Write a karangan based on the pictures they gave. About kesan-kesan pembangunan di negara kita. It was quite simple so I wrote about pencermaran, then the suhu in our bumi increase and pendatang asing came over to work then our people here dont have jobs. And crime in our country increases which makes other people scared to come to visit our country. It was about 400 words long? And then the second question was pick 1 karangan between the 5 questions. I pick the fourth one. About a misi bantuan to somewhere that just had bencana alam. So I wrote about Japan having earth quake. But I was out of points so I think I wrote about 300 only while they wanted 350 words. I wished the first karangan was the second one which needed 350. The first karangan just needed 200-250 words only. So short. But I wrote so long. I hope thats the best I did for my paper 2. Hope hope to get an A2 at least. But never a C. Then after recess had Chemistry paper 2. Really no time to eat and go toilet. Chemistry paper had so many those molecules and what atom atom what equation. I dont get it at all. So guess what? I turned around and throw papers and get them back and wrote them down. You got what I meant right? Hehe. So I did more than half of the paper I guess. So its alright already. Now it depends on my paper 1 now. Lets hope hope I pass. I just wanna pass. I dont wanna fail any of my subjects. Hope hope hope. Tomorrow I am having English paper 2 and Biology paper 2. I am worried about biology but not english. But I am scared of the novel part or the poem part of the English paper. I hope I do well tomorrow. Till then.

4 and a half.

Everything that comes never comes that easy. Everything we want comes hard in our hand. We have to work real hard for it before it really comes to our hand. But sometimes no matter how hard we work we still get the bad results and dissapointment. Nothing is certain or sure in our lives. Anything can happen anytime and anywhere just split seconds. But this 4 and a half thingy. I am so gonna make it into a 5 thingy. Just wait and see. 22nd November here I come. You wanna see me? I will do it for you. Dont worry. I wont dissapoint you guys. I will make sure I am worthy enough to be there. I will work hard for it. Because I know if I want good things in my life I have to work hard for it. None of my things comes in free or easy. Everything I have to work hard for it. Without a work hard I wont get it into my arms. I will make sure that I get this one right and into my hand. I will be the real me. Like how you wanted it to be. I will be myself like how you said it to me. I dont mind what you say now because I know you are just saying it for my own good and wanting me to get all those. You guys are alright with me and willingly to accept me. Yes thats a big chance for me and I wont put it to a waste and into the drain. I admire you alot and I wont let you down since after you two spoken. You are so excited about it. Since you are excited I guess you really want me to be a part of it. I will create my own me. I will be my own me. I wont be other people but me. Myself my own self. Thanks for telling me that. And thanks for giving me a chance to do so. Because this is really special to me and it is a big thing to me. I never got this in my life before. It is very new to me and very nice indeed. I want it and I really love you guys and I will work hard for it. Thanks and sorry for the past. Thanks for saying past is the past. Now its a new start. You just wait. 22nd November. I shall show you and make myself worthy so that I will be apart of you guys. I admire you guys alot and I really mean it. From the start till the end. But I never had a chance. And now I have the chance and I wont screw it up. Its really big to me. I am shy to talk to you and scared to get scolding but I will get my guts up and be myself and be tough and strong and talk to you like a younger brother. So dont worry. Just wait for me. I have one month and that one month is a special time to me. And I will make use of it very well. Thanks and thanks and thanks. Till then.

Finals.

Finals are just tomorrow. Saturday and Sunday are just plain weekends without any fun activities. Eat and sleep. Watch and sleep. Write and sleep. Nothing else. Tomorrow Finals are starting and in the middle there is a break. Depavali break. Which makes the finals last longer. Which I hate more. Har har. Well. Finals end on the 6th of November. In the holiday of Depavali I will have alot of things to do. I actually have alot of things to do but just could not find the time to do it. So I will do it slowly by slowly tomorrow because during my finals period. I wont even step out of the house. So I have nothing to worry about being busy. So good luck to me tomorrow. I am having BM and Chemistry 2 tomorrow. 2 and a half hours for both of the subjects. PMR just ended. So J-shawn has alot of time to spend while I have to stay at home and nerd and go for exams. But well. What to do this is exam period. Just bear with it for a little while more and the next thing is you are already in the holidays and having fun and starting to work for money. I seriously need to find for a job during the holidays. And I will do it during the finals. Guess I am getting busy again. I wanna start work straight away on the 7th of November. I have not much time left. Only two months to work to get a couple of hundred of ringgit. Well it is good enough for me if I spend it wisely and keep some. Life is getting tough as we get older. So I got to be tough and keep on going as I said before Life goes on even how tough it is. So I have to just bear with it and go on with it till the end. I am not giving up ! And I am pushing myself to my limit. Till then.

The One day.

When people get too egoish. They intend to talk more than they should have spoken. In the end, they might regret what they said to the person that they are angry at or wanna show that they are tough. There are alot of benefits and good things about being quiet at times you know. Because you might not know what that person do but you just simply saying that they are bad and they do bad things. But when you know the truth when you left the earth. You regret because you didnt get to chance to get forgiveness for what you said to that person. Everything comes to the last minute. Everything comes to the last seconds that you take the last oxygen in your lungs. You will flashback about your life and about your past. It happened to me alot of times already. He always say that I outside do alot of bad things and if he knows about it. Its gonna be real bad. But well. He wont know because I wont mention a word to him. But he saw me doing something once already. And well. Everytime I come back I will get lecturing from him like kao lat. What can I do is just wait till I grow up alright. I am only sixteen. I cant say anything because he wont listen to me since he still thinks that I am still a small kid. When I really achieve something really big then only he will look up to me and trust in me. He said he lost his trust in me already. So I guess that he wont be trusting me for a long time till I am older. But lets wait. One day when I am at my peak. He will realise what he said to me before it was all wrong. I was actually doing something that I am getting benefit. I always do things to get benefit. I wont do things that I dont get benefit. And alot of people say why I do this why I do that. Actually do you all know why? And said that I do this I am very bad. Think first. I do all those for a reason. Like one of my friend said. She said to me everything happens for a reason. And nothing happens for no reasons. If you done something wrong of course there are effects of it right? Everything you do has it's ending and everything you start to do has it's beginning. Everything does. So just becareful of what you are doing alright. Just beware of your back. Everything you do you have to watch for yourself and not anybody else. One day when I achieve somethings that are highly good. They will realise. And he will realise ! That I am who and What am I ! One day. I will work myself to that one day. That one day ! Till then.

Some people say that my blog is emotional and ended up asking me. Why is your blog so emotional? By the way, is that even your problem? This is my page. This is my link. This is my blog. And I have the rights to blog what I want to. I blog based on what I think and what I have experienced and experience from other people and what I heard from my friends. Is there a problem with you having to say about my blog? If you wanna say it so much. You dont need to say it to me because I dont have the ears to hear what you are saying. I dont really care what you say or what you think about my blog because I am comfortable with what I am blogging and I am comfortable with what I am saying and it is my rights. And I am comfortable with myself and its okay. Because I am just being myself. But if that is not good enough for you? You can just get the hell lost. Because I dont give a damn if you dont like it or like me because I am me and I wanna be what I want because this is the way I am and this is the way I am borned. And do not curse about other people's attitude are because that is how they grow up. People like you have nice people around you and now you wanna talk about other people? Think about yourself before thinking about other people okay? I try my best to just keep quiet so do you. If you like to talk about other people so much. You are welcomed. But never try to advise or tell me what am I wrong at. Because you are no one to me. You are not my special close friend or sister or even brother. So you can just get your ass off and tell your close friends about it. I dont care what they think. One day they will know me and when they know me. They will think what you said again. I am me and I am myself. Never judge its book by its cover. Always try to get to know that person. Why is he like that. Why is she like that. Why his emotional. Actually I am not. Just this is me. This is the way I think. If you wanna talk bad about it means you are talking bad about how God created me. The way I are is the way I are. You got a problem with it? You can just get your ass off my blog. If you are not happy? Come and find me I dont mind. You are nobody and you cant even lay your little fingers on me. If you wanna influce people so badly and make them hate me. So be it. You are totally WELCOMED. Because to what I think is. I am happy with who I have now. And I am happy with what I got with me. So what they wanna think doesnt matter to me. It only matters to you. I have my true loyal honest friends with me so I dont really give a care about you. If you wanna kick me out from your life? You are so welcomed to do it. Thats your waste. Not mine. Sometimes its good to just keep your mouth shut. The way I are. The way I love it to be. Till then.

Nasty Life.

Everything in our lives, has it ups and downs. But one thing for sure is Life goes on even how bad it is. How ashame you get. How poor you get. How hurt you get. Still life goes on how it will be. Unless if you are dead but if someone leaves you or someone is gone or even someone left the earth. Still our life will go on. Like how people say. Even bad things fall. Life still goes on. We continue living everyday hoping for the best. We continue living everyday with our family. No matter what happens. If someone you love so much leaves you. You still have to move on from your past and get on with your life. When you see the person. Your heart twists and then you will think about the time you had with the person. And how happy you got and how sad you got and how cheerful he or she made you. All my friends told me. Everytime they see the person again. They will get flashbacks of that person that they spent time with. Everybody has past. Everybody has a future. We know the past but we do not know the future. The past always helps me to not fall again. But sometimes the past really do hurt right? Some people's past are just not that good. Some people's past are so great. However good or bad. Our lives still goes on right? So what we must do is just continue living on and on everyday hoping that we will be happy and things will be great and not fall once again. We can always try not to let it fall and be happy. Because we learned from our mistakes from the past. Like how one of my friend said to me. Since you had already experience it. No use looking back but look forward and repair yourself. Repair your mistakes so that you wont repeat it the next time in your future. Yeap I do agree. But sometimes, without realising we intend to do the mistake again right? Like what I said before. People fall when they have what they worked hard and wanted for so long. People get careless when they are happy. I have experience that alot of times before. Alot and alot till I am bored of it. Flashbacks can really kill at times. It makes you remember how was it and makes you feel uncomfortable and your heart feels a little pain in it. And then you will feel so lifeless that you just wanna stay home and do nothing but just staring at one spot for the next few hours? Some people say that the other people is always emotional. But have that people think about theirselves? I guess not. Judging people and telling other people about it. Well I cant say anything but one day they will realise their mistake and regret it. We are all young now. Sixteen only. Still young compared to those oldies. We are very young if you wanna say you are old. Go ahead. But you are still young. Now you are so brat and you can say anything you want. Wait till you grow older. There is always good things about being keeping quiet. Now I agree with what my friend said to me. Keeping quiet about other people has it use. But you know human nature. They just cant keep quiet. But to tell it out. Let them be. One day. Just wait for that one day. Everytime when something bad happen to us. We always should try to put this in our mind. What about those other people who doesnt have a nice life like us? They dont even have a family to live with. To feel the feelings called Love. Or even Care. Or they dont have nice food to eat like us. Or they dont get to go to school but they want it so badly. Or they dont get to go places that we get to go. Always think that we are lucky with our lives and what we are having. We always waste things without realising about the poor people. Like me I do waste alot of things that I didnt realise what was I doing. I need to learn more about people. About the world. About the nature. I must learn more. There is alot more to learn about the world and the human beings living in it. Alot and alot. I must listen and experience. Life goes on no matter where you are and how you are. So live life happily so that you dont waste your time and when you are on the bed about to die. You regret that you didnt do what you was suppose to do when you are still alive. And the next thing is you are at HELL ! Joking. Hehe. Till then.

Finding a job.

During the holidays. On Thursday. I went over to Old Jusco. That is at Bukit Raja to find a part time job for my holidays. I went to 4 shops that I actually enter and asked them for a vacancy. And well as usual they asked me and my friend to put down our name, ic number and phone number. We entered Polo Haus, FOS, Voir Gallery and Royal Sport. At Royal Sport, they asked us to write down our details on a form. But to their expressions and reaction. I dont think that they will call us up again. So I gave up on that shop. To the other shops. I think we are just too young to work there? I dunno yet. So just wait for the phone call to come. If it doesnt comes. I will just work for Uncle I guess. His pay is quite good and I like the working hours. Start at 8am and end at 6pm. If you wanna work extra. You will have extra pay. Not bad huh? So if I have no options I will just work there. And if I work there. There is shelter provided. I mean not under hot sun. So its good ! And the Uncle is friendly and very kind and very sporting. So its all cool. Till then.

19 Questions.

Tagged by Soon Chia.

Instructions:Remove 1 question from below and add in a personal question, make it a total of 19 questions. Then tag 8 people in your list, list them out at the end of this post. Notify them in their chat box that he/she has been tagged.

1)What is it that bothers you the most?
Doing something which brings no benefit. Or not using any efforts to get anything in my hands.

2)What is your most favourite thing to do?
I like to dance or kill time by hanging out with my buddies.

3)What is your ultimate wish?
I wanna be someone that is successful in almost every aspect and make my Daddy very happy.

4)Is there someone in your heart right now?
Of course I do. Because everyone does. Right? When you think you don't have one actually you have one but you are trying to hide it from yourself and everybody else.

5)Do you believe you can survive without Money?
Nah. Life now everything is connected to money. Without money you cant get food you cant get water. Without those you will never survive.

6)Are you afraid of pain?
At first you will be. After for a while you wont be and you wont be afraid of death. It is just another path of another life.

7)What do you feel like doing right now?
I feel like blogging and watching movies and listening to songs and eat my lunch and study. But I am just plain lazy. I also wanna clean the whole house and get ready for exams but I am plain lazy again.

8)If there's someone that you love, would you confess to him or her?
If only I see the chances there and If she wants me back. If not just get the hell lost.

9)List out 3 good points of the person who tagged you.
1.Thin.
2.Sohai.
3.Botak.

10)Whats your 5 most passionate thing at this moment?
My brothers and sisters, my close friends, someone in my heart, my dad and my happiness.

11)What is the thing that will make you think he/she is bad?
By her character and also by the way she talk to me or another people.

12)If you had to eat one thing for the rest of your life, what would it be?
Fried rice !

13)If you had a choice to be rich or happy, which will you pick?
Happy. Because if you had money and you dont have happiness. Its no use right? No one to enjoy and be happy with the money you got but you alone in this world. I rather be poor and be happy with all my buddies beside me.

14)If you have a chance, which part of your character you would like to change?
My emotionalness. At times I turn emotional too much that it hurts other people. I realise thats one of my bad side so I wanna change myself in that point of view.

15)Will you ever leave your blog to die?
Yeap. Someday when I am old and I have no more interest to blog and let it be history in the internet.

16)What is the one thing you love about yourself?
Hmm. My

17)If you only can bring one thing along with you to another world, what would it be?
My loved one.

18)Watching movies with friends or chit chat with friends?
Watching movies rather than chit chatting because between the time you watch the movies you still talk to your friends.

19)What will you do if you had only 24 hours to live?
Do what I am supposed to do during all my life time

20)Im tagging:
Janus David.
Fxy.
Willis.
Hemanathan.
Yao Chang.
Yun Ming.
No one.
No one.

Almost a Hang over.

Woke up around 2 pm today. Had heavy headaches and backaches. And a burning stomach and a burning chest. I guess I over drank. It is the effect of drinking so much. Stupid Tee Liang pouring so much in my cup. Three bottles. Rofl. So had lunch with my friend's mom. I overnight their place last night after the event. Then spend a little time with them like went to the salon shop waited for them to cut hair and all. Sorry I did not go to futsal with you all. Sorry sorry. I will make it up to you all after finals. I promise. Hehe. So after that went shopping for furnitures for their new apartment that they just moved in. Then went back to the apartment. Ordered Pizza Hut delivery. Had dinner and I called my dad to pick me up. And packed my stuffs and head home. And cleaned up everything and wrote my letter. So it is almost done. Or I can say half done. I dunno how am I gonna give it to her. Hmm. Till then.

Bar !

The day started with me having dinner with Su Ching, Jerry and J-Shawn. Its been a while pals. Hehe. After that I rushed to modern to have a business talk with my pals. Then went over to the other side to see some business pictures then after that I didnt plan all those but suddenlly I had to go to my friend's apartment to have a swim there. But it rained. Chong Ming Tze followed me everywhere that day. Rofl. Then lepak in his apartment kacau-ed Chong a lot of times. Then the rain stopped and we ran down and have a swim. After that we went up back. And bathed and went out with my friend's mum for dinner. Chong was being horny and all. Dunno transfering what shit into his phone for hours. Even reached his house. He dont wanna get down but to transfer it over. Then after that went back to the apartment and waited for another friend to come pick us up. Around 10 o clock. He came and we went up there. Drank and drank and drank. Met up with some people. Once again. Happy Birthday to Khaiful Fazreen. And drank and drank and tani tani tani again. And guess what. I see everywhere so bright. I hear sounds so nicely. I move so lightly. And the next thing I know is I am you know la. So went back to the apartment. Stomach was burning all the wayyyyy. Then had real heavy headaches. Middle of the night woke up and felt like vomitting but nothing came out and went back to sleep. It was a great night ! Till then.

F T Z

Today was my first time going to FTZ. I went with Afiq and his friends. Not bad ah the people there. So many people playing dota only. Har har. And I got to playyyyy ! Quite nice la the computers. Quite fast and smooth. No lagging or slowness in the computers. In the evening supposed to go for football after modern but well. It rained so we just played kicking around, juggling and then dancing a little bit. PMR is on its way. Good luck J-Shawn. Like I taught you what to take after PMR okay? Do it well. Do it nice. And do it smooth. Hehe. Tomorrow I have things to dooo. So many things to do yet I cant spend the time to do it. So I shall put the time to do those things now. Good luck to Penny for her final examinations. Dota has a new version today. First time playing it. Got new items. Got new two heroes I think? All the matches surely got the new hero come out one. Super imba. Super hard. So keng. Hard to play yet nice to play yet won. But still lost badly. Wanna cry. Wanna kill. Wanna eat. Till thennnn. Not forgetting. Happy birthday to Khairul Fazreen ! Hope you enjoy your day today because its your day !

Do I really have to move out soon? I wonder. . . . I guess if I am forced to move out I really have to find a place to stay. But how to find my own money to buy food. . . . I guess if I am forced to I have to find a job to work while schooling. But the place I am staying I cant stay till when I am 18. People's people mind you know. We must also think about how people feel. I wonder. . . . I have to then move from place to place to stay maybe? End of this year get out and next year January come back? I wonder. . . . Can I really do that? Har har. Things are getting more and more complicated. I must think of a way to put those things away. Even how bad is something. . . You still have to bear with it to the end right? You cant just give away your life like that. Now I understand why people run away from home all the time. Now I know that I should say about them so much. Its really hard for them I guess. Those Pressure. Those sounds they get everyday in their ear. Those beatings and whackings. Those scars after getting beatings on their body. It is really bad isnt it ? Now I know how it all happened. We cant blame anyone for our life. We cant. Like what my friend said. If your life is screwed up its all because of you not anyone because you are the first person to decide where to go who to mix with. What to do. Like smoking, join gangterism or doing bad stuffs. Trust from a parent is very hard to get and maybe we should not try to lose it? Once you lose it. We wont really get anything anymore. Hmm. I only can write everything here because I am always alone all the time. Online have alot of people but the people that I am close with are always not around so I guess I have to do is just write and write and write on my blog. That day I just know one girl in Station one. Her name was May. I thought she was at least 18 or 19 or even 20. But then when I asked her and I know that she was only sixteen. And she was from Setapak not from Klang. I guess she ran away from her parents? I guess she stopped schooling? She said that she stopped schooling and dont wanna go back to school. What about SPM? What about the cert? I know some people said that it is not important but to me it is like a basic to college. If next time she wants to find a job to work. Can she find any job to do? I wonder. That is why I try so hard not to miss school or even not go to school. I try my very best just to go to school on that day. But I skip classes most of the time. I want to get my SPM cert at least. I dont wanna give up on my schooling years. I might not even go to college to study anymore due to my father's problems that I have to carry when I am 18. Its so hard its so hard. But even how hard it is. You must stand up for yourself to bear with all those and try to take care of everything right. So I must stand up for myself too so that I dont fall. But sometimes it is really lonely being standing up for yourself. At times when these type of things happen you dont really have anyone to talk to unless you are with them. They are your friends in the first place. Like how my friend told me. They cant be there 24/7 for you. They are friends which are really close but they have their exams to study for. Work to work for. Things to do for. You cant just trouble them or take their time just to tell your problems right? Ex girlfriends or boyfriends are just the past not the present or future anymore. But I always put them as present. I dunno why I still cant put them in the past. I want to put them back. When you waste someone's time. You are killing his time as it said in the Bible. You are wasting his life time. Wonder those time when you talk to them they can do things which bring effort to them not just wasting it just like that. Am I right? I think so that way. So all the time I just try to keep it to myself. And keeping it myself and not able to tell it out really hurts know. Sometimes you think nobody cares but actually nobody knows how you feel because you put it all inside rather than showing it out. That is why they didnt really ask. But I rather put on a happy smile than puting a sour face showing them that I am sad so that they wont worry so much and they can do their things without thinking about me. Like how Afiq said. When you are down. Think about those who are unlucky. Like those wants to study but didnt get a chance to. Those who doesnt have homes. Those who doesnt have food to eat. Or enough food to eat. Or water. Anything. We are just lucky but we are so sad that we didnt think about other people but just us. So I wanna be happy with what I got now. Just be happy while I can. Because you dunno when you gonna leave earth. So just smile and be happy before you leave everybody...

Kavin is stupid.

I didnt plan to go out with them until I was sleeping on Wednesday. At 3pm something.. I receives a call. Ring ring ring. Low low low low low. Whose number is this I said to myself. Then I answer. Hello. Eh ass ! Where are you? Wanna go out anot? I answered. Whose this? Kavin la macha ! Ohhhhh.. Okay la you come pick me up. Firstly they came to my house made a lot of noises then went to The Store. They wanted to buy a Xbox game that is Fifa 2009. So The Store dont have the game then we went over to Bukit Raja Jusco. Dont have too. Then went over to Klang Parade. Dont have too. But they bought shitty games like Tiger Woods and TopSpin 3. But when we went to Tommy's house. We played TopSpin. It was about 6 in the evening already. Play Play play. Not bad ah. Reached 9 o clock. Play play play. Reach 12 o clock. Not bad ah. Keep on playing till 3am like that. Then we changed to Tiger Woods. Play play play. Not bad ah dey !! Lucky we bought these games. Play play till 5.15am. Kavin went home and sleep. Then Tommy and me watched Imagination Land by South Park. Tommy feel asleep then I turned off the tv and went to bed. Woke up at random time. Saw Tommy was gone. Dont give a damn and went back to sleep. Woke up at 2 in the noon. Ate lunch. And played Topspin 3 again. Till around 6 in the evening then had some things to eat then went up and firstly I watched Ninja Turtle the cartoon one. Then changed to Kingdom of Heaven then decided to watch Devil something forgot already. After that played Euro 2008. Before that had dinner with Tommy's mom, Tommy and Xin Xin. Then 9 o clock Kavin came and went back home. I played with Xin Xin for the whole damn day. She never gets tired or anything. Keeps on smilling and running jumpping. I was like when is she gonna stop and sit down with me when when when. But damn.. Her cheeks was so hard that it was not fats but bones ! And she is really cute. And she calls me Randy Kor kor and said I love you. Har har. Lucky shits. While we were eating at Bukit Raja's Jusco at KFC. This Kavin talked big and all about something and guess what. He knocked down a box of tissue and the whole KFC looked at us like nobody's business. And he just walked away like nobody's business not picking it up back. We laughed like shit looking at the wall. Maybe thats the effect of talking big huh Kavin? Stupid ! Till then.

By Fyx !

We sometimes take for granted the people that we value so much because we know they will never leave us. And when they did u'll realize that you wished that you should value them every second when you are with them.(By Fyx)

I feel that I kind of agree with what fixx said to me 2 days ago when I told him about it. It happened to me also. I took someone for granted because I thought that that someone wont leave me but when it did. I didnt believe it at first. Then after that I thought that I should treasure the times I had with that someone but its too late already. What fixx said is very true. I agree totally. Sometimes we humans always take things for granted when it is all there for us. When we feel so happy or so secure, we intend to fall and sometimes people change. I heard of incidents where when people get what they wanted for a long time that they worked hard. They intend to change how they behave or even care for that someone or something. They intend to change and be more careless. When they are careless and changed, they wont do things that they usually do when they are still not changed and being careless. Which makes the other person feels quite hurted maybe? Thats what I hear always. And that may make us lose something very precious in our life. And when we lose the precious thing in our life. We will regret so much that we wished that we could turn back time to the first place where it all happened so that you could undo what you had done wrong so that you will not lose that something precious to you. But in life once you done it. Its it. You cant change it. You will have to face all the regrets if you done it wrong. So when you are making a choice to do something. Think it well. And after thinking it twice or thrice. Do it properly and nicely and try not to screw it up. When you screw it up. If you are given one more chance then you are lucky. But chances in life are very rare to find or get. So whenever you get a chance to do back something to the right spot. Do it properly and dont screw it up again. Everybody wished to have a second chance to do back what they had did wrong. But how many chances that they really get to do it? I dont think that many people have much chance to do what they had done wrong. Like how my friends told me about how they screwed up their life or their studies and they really wanna study well and pass exams so that they could get a better job. They always tell me not to screw up mine and do it well. Like how they always tell me to study at all times. They are right. And I dont wanna regret my decisions but in life even you try how hard to not regret your decisions. One day you will regret it too. So what you can do is just try to be the best and be ready to get regrets. Its the only way that can save your damn ass. Exams is on 20th of October. And they are finals. Pretty important. So I gonna study next week. Till then.

In the Ayer !!!!!

Skipped school today. Slept till 2 pm. It was raining almost the 4 hours and it was so nice to sleep. Daddy was pissed to let me skipped school. So weird. And when I went out to modern in the noon. Everywhere was flooded with water. Scary yet nice. Then went back and got my hair cut and I look like a kid once again. And I look gong again. Gong gong tai. A boring Tuesday. Tomorrow is already Wednesday. I have a friend selling any kind of dogs cheaper. So if any of you all wants a dog please do contact me. If you dont have my contact number please ask from me in my blog. Its really cheap from 4k they only sell 1.8k and its really cute. They have all kinds of dog. If you want one please do contact me. Thanks for your cooperation. Is myspace really nice? I dunno how to use it. Its all about tomorrow !

By Alvin Low.

HAVE YOU EVER?

Have you ever………
- lost something and it seems very important to you
o I have, but it seems that you have to cope it with it, losing something, gain something in future
- Wished you were dead and everyone could live better?
o I have, but somehow, aren’t you being selfish? Live on with it, tomorrow may be a better day
- Get scolding or diu for something which isn’t you fault but seem like your fault?
o I did, I took it as it came, forgive and forget as they say, it’ll die down soon
- Think that forgive and forget is easy to say, but did you do it?
o I didn’t but somehow it’ll die down on its own, no point anger for something which wastes your time
- Wished that someone was dead because you hated that someone so much?
o I did, and someone is gone now
- Wished for something nice but it didn’t come true, but you wished something nasty it did?
o I had, but never stop dreaming, it might come true, as they say; be careful of what you wished for, you might get it all

Have you ever…………
- Loved someone badly but they turn you down?
o I had, stand up and go on
- Wished you could turn back in time to say the three words again?
o I had, but sadly you cant turn back time, appreciate now
- Hurt someone so badly, till you yourself feel bad?
o I did, I tried and will try to ask for forgiveness, being friends are much better than enemies
- Someone hurt you so bad that you wanna smack that person hard and hate that someone?
o I had
- Someone rejects you after long time of hard work?
o I had, but what to do? Its their decision, respect it
- Wished you could be with someone?
o I do
- Wished you could be with someone again?
o I hoped

Have you ever……….
- Wished you were richer?
o I did, but its your hard work now that pays off in future
- Had extra money to spend?
o Stop spending
- Hated your parents so much that you said you hated them or want them to be gone?
o I did, but in life, they nourished you for years, provide shelter over your head, food on the table, given you money in your account. Love them and tell them before you realized it’s just too late.
- Got into an accident which you hoped that it never happens?
o Its all fated, work with it

Have you ever……….
- Had an enemy or nemesis back in younger days, high school or now?
o I did, like I’ve mentioned, friends are better than enemies.
- Been alone?
o It sucks I know
- Looked happy on the outside but on the inside you’re not?
o Others don’t want to see you unhappy, what else can you do?
- Had this situation where, you have tons (600+) ahem… of friends in FB and tons (500+) ahem…. of friends in MSN or many social friends, but somehow no one seems to cares when you’re alone. When you need someone to turn to, no one’s there. Someone to share something, but it’s all in vain? Even when you put that you needed help on you PM?
o I had, yet its life, we live we fall, maybe everyone’s busy, everyone have their life to take care of, be a man, do the right thing. Everything comes and go, you can’t expect everyone to be there asking you 24/7 how are you? Ok not? And sorts… but happily I have friends who do care. And I’ proud of it.


- It’s all about have you ever…
- Have you ever do your part to change your own life? Or do something bout it?
- Have you ever will always be there, its how you shape it.

Have you ever………..

Issues.

Everybody has their own issues in their hands everyday. Everything keeps on popping out suddenly or sometimes randomly at times. Or even all at once. I feel that my problems are starting to pop out once again and Im feeling that I am getting screwed up soon. And I need to change the fact that I am screwing up my life. I have only one more year left and I am all on my own that time. I have to do alot of things to support my dad and also myself and also my other brothers and sisters. I must think about what am I gonna do now. My biggest exam is next year and thats important for me because I dont think I am going any further after that. So I need to get good results next year. It is very important for me. Time management for me is a very imporant thing. Time will tell. Time is everything. Once time pass it wont return. Time is golden. Slowly by slowly you use time to train your stuffs and after some time without realising you can do all those stuffs well. Time is very important to us. We can do anything in those time and we wont grow younger but older which makes us cant do some things when we are old. Some things are meant to do when you are young but not old. I feel like moving out for a while now. Maybe 1 week ? Or 1 month ? Just to take a break by myself. I know I cant afford it and I cant support myself but well it is worth a try. People always say. If you dont try. You wont know what is coming next. Right? So I am gonna try everything that I find interest. Its all free. Like dancing, singing, acting or even what la. Its all free. Its see that how hardworking you are seeing that you wanna do it with your full heart anot. So I wanna try what I find interesting in my life. Everything is worth a shot. Once you miss. Dont regret. I regret alot in my life and now I am still doing things Im regretting. Regret is a very dangerous word. A dangerous feeling. I better beware of regretness. Once you done it there are alot of effects coming out. And if you done something wrong or wrong decision you will truly feel the regretness in yourself. These months I hardly spoken to my dad anymore. Its like we dont even talk when we go out. We just walk and we just eat and we just go back home. What is home? What is family? What is love? I hope I will know what is it all about.

It is Life.

Now I know what they all said to me when they said that Without it Life would be a very boring thing to live in. The it means the rejections, the blames, the scolding, the anger, the hatred and of course they lectures. And also happiness, friends, brothers, sisters, family and so on. If our life would be everyday happy would we learn anything from it? I dont think so. We always do mistakes and we learn it up and then we pick it back and then we continue with life without doing the mistakes the second time. If all your friends were the same. We wont find laughters or fun in mixing with them too. People are all different from different worlds, different lines, different culture and also different religions. We all have our own world. We all have our own thinking. We all have our own way of living our lifes. We all have rejections, broken hearts, hurted hearts and also pressured heart. We get those rejections so that we can know what we are capable of. We get those broken hearts so that we will know what we should have not done or what you have done wrong. Everybody has regrets like me. I do regret for what i done 5 weeks ago. That same night. But what can I do about it ? I have to be happy with what I have like my friend told me I have a lucky life. Yes I agree with him that is why Im living my life happy now. I dont wanna trouble my friends for what had happened. I wanna put on a smile for them. Acted like nothing had happened. Even how sad am I. I will try to hide it inside not showing any bit. Life is a very short. The years and time passes so fast without us realising. We do things without us realising the time passing by. So if you were sad in those times. When you finally lie on the bed on the edge of your life time. And then you think about your past. About your primary school, your high school, your college life, your love life, your buddies and your history. By that time you cant do anything to change it back. In life, once you have done it accept it. No turning back. Like those people in gangterism. They have no way to turn back. Once joined means forever inside. Its the same in life. Once you done it. You have to face the effects and what is happening. Like me. I done alot of things that I should not have done and now Im having the effects in my heart but Im always happy all the time. Today my friend told me. Your face like shit. I asked why. He said you look so sad. Then I say do I? He said yeap. And I was like hmm. What he said was true. I was more quiet nowadays. I dont go hyper active all the time. But well. I will soon go hyper active. Trust me. After End year exams. I will do it all back together. But well somethings are just meant to be that way and nothing can be done anymore. I always put this in mind. Give people a second chance. Forgive and forget and learn. Everybody has thier own problems. Everybody has thier own troubles. But if you think it over. Its actually nothing if you didnt do it in the first place. Like me. I cant turn back now. Im already sixteen. I have to know what is next. What is coming soon. What I have to do in the future so that I can plan my future well. My big exam is next year. Alot of people said that it is not important but yeah it is to me. I only have that for my future. I wish I can go further but well I cant be greedy. I have what I have thats enough. I am still a raw kid with no knowledge of anything. I am still a brat. I dunno whats outside in the world. I dunno what is love in the first place but I still took it and get together. Maybe now I know I dunno anything about relationships or anything. I should have understand it first before taking it up. I am sixteen now. I have start knowing these things. People said that sixteen is a young age. But without realising you turned 20 then 21 then 22. But you thought that your sixteen year was just yesterday. Its like so fast until you cant even catch up with time. I cant blame anybody for anything. I cant blame anything for anybody. Its all about yourself. You done it means its you. Nobody else. Everybody was created and borned different. Everybody has different faces and different shapes and body or even size. Everybody has thier own speality. We should just treasure what we have until its gone. I read something the other day. And it was pretty touching. My friend's girlfriend sent him that that day. The last they said. Love someone before its all gone. I know this phrase comes out alot and some people do follow what is says and many dont. But if it really happen how? I wonder now. Maybe I wont even live till Im old. I went for a church camp last year if Im not mistaken. The fellow there said if you die tomorrow how? If you are no more here tomorrow how? All you have planned all you have lived for its all gone just one second. Now. I think I will just live for tomorrow. Not the past. Not the months that is gonna come. Not the years that is gonna come. Because maybe I wont live till that long. Its all about tomorrow. Tomorrow. Tomorrow. Think how much fun you gonna have tomorrow. Think what you gonna do to make you learn something tomorrow. Its all about tomorrow. Anything can happen tomorrow ! So think positively and think about tomorrow ! I must start thinking what am I gonna do starting tomorrow. Balance out everything. My dad made some noises tonight but well I didnt answered him back. I just tell myself. Be patience. Let him talk and let it out all he want. Its him. Not me. You cant just judge people by its cover or just by a look without talking to him or her. So just ingore and think about tomorrow. Think what is gonna happen. Be ready for tomorrow. Be positive but not negative ! Positive ! Yes positive. I have who I want by my side maybe not all but I cant be greedy right? I will love everybody I have before they are gone from my hands before they are gone from this world or earth ! I will. I might post the thingy up soon. If I can get it from my friend. Its just all about tomorrow.

A week of holiday of Bulan Raya.

I had a week of school holiday because of the celebration of the malay festival called Hari Raya. And luckily I found something interesting to do at least than staying at home and thinking the whole day and wasting my time. So I went to Aeon on Monday and guess what they allowed me to work in Levis for that week. So I went there to work the whole week and now Im back home getting ready for school tomorrow. The experience there was awesome. It was something new for me to learn in my life. I learned how they sold things in Levis and how they cut and then they put back the original piece of the Levis on the jeans. And I had a new experience of talking to random people and different words came out and I spent quality time with all the staffs there the whole day. Had meals with them. Had some talking with them. And this made me understand more and more about who are they and how are they. I found out that they are pretty not bad? One malay guy which is Firdaus. At first I didnt really talk to him. Just hi and bye at random times when I went there. But now he seems very talkative and very noisy at times. Called me Badut Sarkas la and what Mr Bean. He said that I looked like Mr Bean. Then I made friends with one guy which is working upstairs in the shop called R20. He only talks mandarin with me so I talked more mandarin nowadays. Some customers was pretty friendly and some talked to me in mandarin, malay, hokkien, canto and very little of english. Now I know how to talk to customers in a shop selling clothes and how to find the size and how to ask them what is this what is that. Well. It was a great experience for me. It was not that boring also. It was kind of fun. Then on Saturday I went to Bamboo for the night and came back around 6 and slept till 1 and just went to work again. It was tiring but yet a nice thing for me to know how it feels like the tiredness if you dont sleep properly before you go to work. I didnt hang out much with my friends or study for exams which is coming in 2 weeks. If I fail I will just blame myself for not doing what I should have done 2 weeks ago. Till then.

Tagged by Anus.

1)Name?
Answer:Randy Swee.

2)Brothers?
Answer:4.

3)Sisters?
Answer:2.

4)Shoe size?
Answer:Maybe 9 or 10 or maybe 8 not sure.

5)Height?
Answer:Not sure too. Around 177?

6)Where do you live?
Answer:Klang.

7)Favorite drink?
Answer:Taste sweet. Taste good. Then its all good.

8)Have you been on a plane?
Answer:When I was young with my Mom. Now no.

9)Swam in the ocean?
Answer:Maybe. Maybe not. Forgot already. Been so long.

10)Fall asleep in school?
Answer:Always.

11)Broken someone's heart?
Answer:Everybody do.

12)Fell off a chair?
Answer:Yeap.

13)Sat by the phone waiting for someone to call?
Answer:Pretty Often. Just waiting to talk like usual.

14)Saved e-mails?
Answer:One or two because I dont check mails.

15)What does your room look like?
Answer:Plain and simple white walls. And nothing special.

16)What is the last thing you ate?
Answer:Hot sausage. I mean spicy.

17)Ever had chicken pox?
Answer:Everybody does.

18)Sore throat?
Answer:Yeap ? The one I hate the most.

19)Stitches?
Answer:Cant remember.

20)What is right next to you?
Answer:Wall and a table.

21)Do you believe in love at 1st sight?
Answer:Anything can happen. We dunno whats next.

22)Like picnics?
Answer:Not here but somewhere else colder and nicer sun.

23)Who was the last person you danced with?
Answer:Tan Tee Liang.

24)Last to make you smile?
Answer:Everybody that was around me.

25)Today did you talked to someone you like?
Answer:Nope? I never been talking to her for a long long time already.

26)Do you eat healthy?
Answer:I am fat means I'm healthy.

27)Have you ever cried because of something someone said to you?
Answer:Of course. Those people who are really special to me that meant something in my life. Of course they can hurt me because they are my treasures.

28)Are you loud or quiet most of the time?
Answer:I am very quiet most of the time.

29)Are you confident?
Answer:If I put my mind straight and not think about the negative things I am so so the confident.

30)Tag 4 people.
1.Elaine Lee.
2.Tommy Seow.
3.Penny Ng? But she wont do it.
4.Random.