What a waste of time.

Today. One of my friend really does piss me off with his attitude and things which he liked to drag things for a long long time before doing it properly or completing it. I really hate those kind of people who will just drag the time and give me the answer as if my time is worth for theirs. This friend of mine is a very afraid of his parents for some reason. If he wanted to go somewhere or he wanted to go out with his friends to somewhere. He would not dare to ask for permission until he found a way to ask like indirectly asking or he wont confront them. I was like.. dude.. you are already sixteen going on seventeen. Are you like suppose to make your own decisions now ? Are you supposed to grow up and be responsible for everything you wanna do and don't let others control you? Come on you are getting older day by day. And you are stuck here with your parents which makes decisions for you. Yeah. My other friend and I have tolerated you for a real long time. Just that, we didnt want to tell you or embarass you infront of your so called "friends". We just kept quiet for this 4 years all together since we were friends since form 1 we entered our school. Imagine how much patience and tolerance we have to put up with you just because of what you did. I really cant take it but I always tell myself to just let it go. You are wasting my time and you are delaying the time. It is only 1 week from now and we only have 3 practices to go and you still wanna call me and say I cant go tomorrow. Thats real stupid for me to waste my time for you. I can tell you 80% that we are not able to make it already. I wont mention whose that. Im just gonna let it be. Seriously, wasted like 2 weeks because of you. I got sick because of you. Using so much energy every practice because of you. I cant even do my studies or even do my projects that I got from teacher like months ago because of you all is it because of your damn little "thing" you wanna do. You should grow up and have some guts if you want something from people. Imagine next time when you are already like living by yourself. Are you gonna call your mummy when you have somewhere you wanna go ? Damn. Thats like... or when you wanna get killed are you gonna shout Mummy !? Seriously.

A year passed by.

Yeappp. Finally, Im back to blogging. I am free from all things now. I can have some time for myself now. The year 2008 just ended and a new year of 2009 just began. Its not the same thing this year. The major examination is held this year that is SPM. It decides where I could go or where I could not go. People might say its not important or its important but to me it is. When you dont have anything. And when you have the little things, do whatever you can with the little things so that you could make it into a larger one. Thats what I believe. Even who we are. Or where we are from. We can always perform well and we can go somewhere. Lets take Bill Gates. He didnt finish high school. He dropped out in High School and he did really well now. If he can or if my friend's parents can. Why cant I right? So I just gotta work harder for it. Everything is just on your shoulders. If you wanna take it up you can. If you wanna be lazy and just leave what chances you got you too can do it. Now I know what one of my teacher used to say. I know what he said is true now. I believe in what he say now. His turning 55 next year. His an experienced teacher and also an adult which lived for a long long time now. Last year might be a year of enjoyment and fun. But this year? Its different. Everything changes. After this year I wont be able to go to high school anymore. All the years since form 1 I enjoyed every year and every day I had in school. I can too enjoy this year but I have to focus on my studies too. Major year major examination. I feel quite afraid now. Its only Febuary and I am feeling afraid of failing because I am not quite a good student. And I get low grades for my monthly test. I slacked during form 4 and I have to catch up this year on everything. I hope I can. Well, we will never know ourselves when we try it out right? There is no harm in trying anything. So just put in a little of effort and try to study a little. Dont try to study everything in one time. Slowly and slowly catching up to the other students. The other students in other classes could do it well and could get high marks. Why I cant? Yeap. I got that right. Why cant I do it too? Some of you might look down on me because I really have bad habits now. I am picking up a lot of bad habits. You might look down on me. Anybody can have a lot of bad habits but in the end they are the winners or I can say scorers. My teacher always say we all could get scholarship we all could get scholarship to go to colleges or whatever that is. Well, come to think of it. Why dont I just try my best to get one? It wont kill me or harm me right? Studying is not a waste of time not like playing games on computer or watching too much tv. Studying is something you can take when you grow old, when you have children. To me, God is there to help us go through the path but not give us every answers to our lifes. We have to work hard for our own scores in life. Thats what I think. You all might think it differently. But this is what I think and I am gonna stick to it. I admit I wont have anything when I finish high school. No cash. No business to take over or a house inherited to me. I have nothing I can say that. So its like working from zero percent. So what if I have to do that? I dont mind. I will just build my own company ! I realised things about myself now. I like to drag things around and also cant make a decision fast. I like to delay things around like when I have homeworks. I like to just leave it there to rot and do it later. I guess thats a really bad habit. I keep telling myself that it is just Febuary. Its just the second month of the year. Come to think of it. I only have 9 months more to go till that exam. That one important exam. That one that decides where I go next. Shall I take an action now?