My birthday.

Today is my sweet sixteen. Im Offically Sixteen now. Its been 10 years since then. 10 years i have been what i am now. I can say that if i was not saved by my dad i might not have been for what i am. Im really grateful for what i have been. Life has been not that good towards me but what can i say? I cant blame anyone. I cant blame God. I cant blame anyone but myself. I cant hate my life for being like this but yes there are many times when i did really break down on myself and yet i have to collect and take up all the pieces by myself. I was not have been taken care well since i was 1 to 6. I was left at some house somewhere far far away from Klang which is Cheras. And not seeing any of my family members. Yes my childhood was not that happy and cheerful. But im thankful that God gave me my Dad now. I was taken at the age of 6. And now its been 10 years im offically with my Dad. If i was not taken at the age of 6. Where could have i been ? What am i gonna be ? What will i gonna be ? How will i be that time ? I will never know but all i know is its gonna be worse than what i am now. I have not many happy moments in my life. And there are a little of happy moments in my life. I have more downs than the ups that people usually get. I understand and get that a person must go through what the other person feels to totally understand what that person had experienced and felt all these while. Im always trying my best to be better for everyone. Im always trying my best to not dissapoint everyone. I never gave up my life just like that. Even how bad was my past was i never gave up my life that easily because i know i still have my Dad around me i had to do the job that he did for me. He picked me over a girl that he was gonna marry. How good is that? Even how much he hitted me during the past. Even how much he scolded me during the past. Its all for my own good. I cant say that i hate him because he is just teaching me how to survive in my life. He is just trying to tell what life is really is in the future. He is getting me prepared for my future. I cant hate him for that or sometimes he got too angry and start hitting me non stop. Well its everyone needs i can say. You need pain so you can learn. No pain no gain. True? Yes very true. I can say that my sweet sixteen was not good or fun at all. Yes and yes it will be fun. But not as fun as the past years. This may be the worst and suckiest sweet sixteen i ever had after what had happened last week. Exactly one week before my birthday. How sucky is that huh? And yes. I have no mood to do anything or i have lost my interest in everything. If only i have not done my mistakes. I might be just enjoying my time right now? Like what U-Zhing said. When you have it you will never think or use your brains properly. When you really lose it you will really think it over again and realise what you have done wrong. I still want to put that smile on. I still want to make the warmness. I still want to make the laughters. I still want to miss. I still cant let it go. Still cant do it yet. Everytime when i come home at night late night. I always dislikes the time when i get home at night. I always feel lonely that nobody is around. My house has not much noise all the time. No laughter going on. No noise going on. Not much fun going on or anger. It is just plain dull boring. It just suddenlly everything has dissapeared. The lonelyness that was here last time is back. Yes I do worry alot yes Im weak and Im scared of many things Yes. Maybe that is who i am ? Maybe that is what made Randy Swee all these time? Maybe that is what i am really is ? I always try to change the fact that i worry too much. Yes i do think alot. I think alot before doing something. I think alot before saying something. I do i do its all because of what happened before in my life and i just dislike to be alone. But sometimes its just better to stand alone? Or just be in a relationship with a person you really love and care for to put everything on her? The one that you can really take it easy on and be comfortable with when all hard times are on you? Well. Life doesnt goes on what you want. Somehow somewhere sometime it just turns around and poke you in the back. Okay okay my day. 12 am my sweet sixteen started.. and i just played a few dota games with soya and well thanks soya for the company.. then slept at 3am then woke up at 11am or 12pm not sure.. around there.. then i see all those wishes in my phone.. thanks alot yaaa.. was asleep so i cant really reply you all.. sooooo.. i replied them and woke up and bathed neatly as it was my day.. then i waited for my friends to finish thier school day and then i called them and some called me and we went to selva some mamak near mgs school or just opposite mgs school and we had our lunch there.. all together there was janus, jerry, soon chia, j shawn and me there.. so we talked talked eat eat eat drink drink drink till around 5? then jerry, soon chia and j shawn went to robyn's house by thier bicycles so left me and janus walking back to my house.. then at my house we danced a while talked a while then he went back because he had to go somewhere.. thanks for your company man.. i took my bathe and then dressed up properly then asked my dad to send me to Robyn's house at 5 plus? almost 6.. went there and they were still baking the cup cakes.. okay la.. talked with the mom.. then slowly and slowly watch tv and waited for the time to pass.. then around 8.20pm after they bathed all Robyn's mom send us to Su ching's house reached there around 8.40pm.. they were all waitting for us so Preveen, Tommy, Elaine, Jerry, Nushka, Jennifer, Irene, Ernest, Kenneth, Soon chia, Robyn, Yan teng, and of course Su ching was there. I hope i dont miss out any names. If i dunno sorry la okay. Too many and too long ago cant remember.. so they did a suprise for both me and Nush.. Nush's birthday was on the 4th and mine was on the 5th.. so we celebrated together.. Thanks for the suprise! Currently i dont have the photos with me so i will post them up later on.. then after that got roast chicken, roast beef, potato with cheese and bacon i think? and mushroom soup so eat eat eat all.. thena round 9.20pm i got one call from my brother said that he wants me to go to aeon now so i had to leave.. Sorry all for leaving so early okay? So i hugged them all and called my dad to pick me up from her house to go to Aeon.. reached Aeon around 10 went to see my brother and he was not out of work yet.. so do Colin and Roy, Michelle, Wynesse, Khairul and Topac was already in Station one dunno doing what there.. so after that 10.30pm end work all go to Station one. All together was William, Roy, Colin, Topac, Wynesse, Michelle, Gavinn i hope its the right spelling? , Sam and Khairul.. i hope thats all? Sorry if i forget again.. so Wynesse had to go back at 11pm.. so he sent Topak back to bus stop so he could go back and Khairul followed her.. then it drizzled so we had to move inside.. and guess who i saw? Vin Teng.. shocking.. i didnt expect to see her there.. well saw her said hi.. then moved inside.. drank and all.. then suddenlly the lights went off and yeah a suprise cake was there.. honestly i didnt expect it to be even there lor.. I thought just talk and drink mana tau got birthday cake so they sang the song then some of the people in Station one sang the birthday song for me too.. then after that i made my wish and blowed the candle off then i cutted the hair and then they started putting cream on my face lorrr.. then Michelle wiped the cream off for me !!! WHAHAHAHA.. nothing to be big fuss about.. hehehehe.. so after that talk talk talk then around 12am everybody went back lor.. Offically my birthday is over.. and today is Tan U-Mae's birthday.. so happy birthday U-mae!! hehehe.. well i didnt expect my birthday to be like this.. i expect it to be just gathering and talk and just yam cha? but not the cake and cup cakes.. thanks alot for the food Su ching made for me.. it was really great and filling.. and Thanks Robyn for those cup cakes to made for me.. they were just nice not too sweet not too bitter or not too salty.. hehehehe.. and thanks alot to William, Michelle, Roy, Colin, Topac, Wynesse, Gavin, Sam and Khairul for the night you just did for me. Thanks for all the wishes. I didnt really expect for my birthday to be that happy because of what just happened to me not long ago.. but well i enjoyed myself and im grate and thankful for what had happened.. so U-Mae even how bad your day was never think that your birthday is gonna be a sucky one maybe its gonna be great? you dunno anything yet.. you dunno whats coming.. anything might just pop out. hehehehehe.. so enjoy your birthday that is today 6th of september 2008. And Cheryllll WHY TAK DATANG.. i sedih know.. sad sad lorrrr.. and Lauren youu ahhh.. not nice one lor.. wahahahaha.. thanks laaaaaa !!!! Actually i typed the first part out yesterday around 1.17am and its now 6th of september 3.06 am and im completing the rest.. and im going to bed after this. I just wish i could spend nicer time. Hehehehehe. Thank you very much ! And lastly sorry to Soya, Funky, Sze Guan, Kavin, Hasouk and Gwen that i could not hang out with you all today. Hehehe.